Something in the way
by Roma Blackadder
Summary: The Marauders generation at Hogwarts. Sirius likes Lily but hasn't told anyone. Quite fluffy.
1. Chapter 1

Her flame gold hair fell over her face slightly, just a strand. Lily tried to blow it out of her face but the lock was staying where it was. She didn't break her gaze from the book she was reading to tuck the hair behind her ear with her delicate, pale fingers. Her green emerald eyes were focused on the words that filled the page; she had no idea she was being watched.

Sirius hardly ever went in the library but he saw that Evans had gone in so he decided to follow. It was something in the way that she moved; it was like she was about to start dancing at any moment, it was hypnotising. Black had secretly nursed this feeling for a while; he didn't really know what to do with it. He'd tried to take it out on Snivillus but that hadn't worked. He'd tried to put it in to the Qudditch pitch but that hadn't worked. He was utterly clueless. He absent-mindedly fingered book spines as he looked at her, half pulling them out then replacing one. Then one pulled away easier than the others and crashed to the ground.

The slam reverberated around the library.

Sirius had never felt more embarrassed in his life. Lily Evans looked up from her book to see where the noise had come from only to see an inwardly cringing Sirius slowly and awkwardly pick up the book he had dropped. He replaced it hurriedly and then left the library in the same manner.

That was a situation he never wanted to be in ever again. He bombed his way to the Gryffindor common room and grabbed his best friend, James Potter.

"Quidditch pitch. Now." stated Sirius, not making eye contact.

"Okay…" said James, half wanting to ask why his mate was acting so flustered but that wasn't what mates did so he left it. Remus and Peter came down with the two and for the next hour Quidditch was all that filled the space in Black's mind but Lily Evans was always at the horizon.

Eventually the boys came down and Black had regained composure and was back to his usual buoyant self. Then there she was; standing in the courtyard with a couple of friends. Sirius almost halted on the spot, ready to run in the opposite direction. The fact that no one else knew was the only reason he kept going.

Lily flicked her hair back and turned slightly as she did it, enough to catch sight of the boys.

"Did you find that book you were looking for in the library, Sirius?" she smiled. His heart stopped, she had said his name.

"You were in the library?" scoffed James, "Why?" He tried to hold back laughter. His best friend never went in the library. Ever. Sirius looked in James' direction at a loss of what to say.

"Just because you think our education is a joke doesn't mean your friends have to, Potter!" Lily snapped, stepping closer to the pack of teenage boys.

"We can't all be swots like you" retorted James.

Lily shook her in almost disbelief. "You just think you're it, don't you Potter?" She took a small step forward.

"Yeah, I do" laughed James, looking around his friends who laughed at his characteristic arrogance. He stepped closer to Lily, hands in pockets.

"Well, you're not. You're an arrogant, stupid toe-rag." She stepped forward with every word until she was an inch away from James Potter's face.

He staggered back, clutching his chest, an appalled look on his face. "You wound me, Evans!" He spluttered a few times then the marauders all burst in to raucous laughter, even though Sirius' was more controlled than the rest of them.

Lily stormed back to her friends and they left swiftly, telling her how stupid James was. The boys quietened down and swaggered their way to the Great Hall for dinner.

Later that night Sirius lay with his hands behind his head, curtains closed, in his bed. He'd put on a show at dinner and in the common room but in his bed he could be himself. She had said his name. His name had come from her perfect raspberry lips and it sounded like heaven. He smiled to himself. He turned on to his side, closed his eyes and filled his dreams with Lily Evans.


	2. Chapter 2

There was another month or so of brief encounters that kept Sirius going. Seeing Lily in the Great Hall. Seeing Lily at Quidditch matches. Seeing Lily in the common room. There was a lot of seeing but very little talking. Usually if Black wanted a girl, she would be his in a blink, but Evans was different. She was confident enough to speak her mind on top of being stunning and kind; Black didn't seem to stand a chance.

The summer half term rolled around slowly, people were stressing about OWLS and teachers kept piling on the work; everyone was glad of a break. Sirius Black was staying at Hogwarts as he did for every holiday apart from the long summer break. His family didn't want him home; he was a disappointment to them, nothing more. Holidays for him meant time to himself to just be. He could walk around the grounds, go to Hogsmeade, do whatever he wanted to. It was going to be bliss.

Lily Evans had decided to stay at Hogwarts to study; she'd never get anything done at home so it was the logical option.

Sirius woke up the first morning of the holidays. Yesterday had been filled with "see you soon" and farewell pats on the back. Today he had lied in until 10, gotten dressed and now trudging down to the common room. Nobody would be there. He turned in to the familiar room and saw that she was there. Lily was sitting in the window, a faint glow surrounding her, reading. Black stopped still, his mouth open slightly in surprise, it was safe to say he hadn't been expecting to see her until everyone else once again filled the hallowed corridors of Hogwarts with incessant chatter. Lily blinked and looked up then smiled that warm smile Sirius loved.

"Hello Sirius, I didn't know you were staying!" she chimed.

For a moment he was lost for words.

"Yeah, I always do." There was an awkward pause. "Wasn't expecting to see you here…" he trailed off slightly at the end.

"I'm here because I need to study; if you want we can study together?" She was still smiling.

"Sure" I'd love to was mentally added.

"Where would you like to start?" Lily moved so there was room for Sirius to sit down.

The sunny days were spent between the two of them, initially studying with minimal chit chat but as they grew to know each other there was laughter and jokes thrown in as well. It was something in her smile that really hooked Black. It was such an expression of pure enjoyment that it was infectious. The pair spent pretty much the whole day together every day, it was like heaven.

The week began to draw to a close and Black started to wonder if he should make a move. She had been moving closer in their chats, stroking his arm occasionally, a hug before going to bed. All that meant that she was interested, right? It was too late to write to anyone for advice so Sirius decided to leave it but still keep close because as soon as term began, he was going to make his move.

Soon enough, the life of Hogwarts was back to bursting as more and more people arrived for the final part of the year. Sirius was reunited with the marauders and Lily with her friends, naturally because of circumstance, they weren't able to see each other much beyond a quiet "hi" in the corridors or common room. Black noticed that Lily's smile wasn't quite as sunny now and there was no smile when he was with James, instead there was a thin line where her mouth should have been. James' constant picking at Evans was starting to piss Black off. Why couldn't he just leave her alone instead of sniffing around her and looking for arguments?

After a few failed attempts Sirius finally worked up the courage to leave Lily a note:

_**Hey, **_

_**Study session under the willow**_

_**6:30**_

_**Be there!**_

_**Padfoot**_

He left it in her corner, just in the inside cover of her Hogwarts: A History which she was reading at the moment. All there was left to do now was see if she turned up.


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius didn't want to seem eager but he was there 6:30 on the dot. He had brought some of his books along but really he just wanted to talk to her. He wanted Lily to talk to him. He wanted it to be perfect.

He waited.

He checked his watch. It was 6:40. She was late.

He waited.

It was 6:50 by the time she turned up. She looked a bit flustered but as soon as she smiled her sunshine smile then all sins were forgiven. Time had dragged before but now it flew by. It was almost like it was the holidays again but something had changed and Black couldn't quite put his finger on it but he still got drunk on the very sound of her voice and the nearness of her body. No work got done by the time the pair parted but they didn't really mind.

Sirius lay back on his bed and smiled to himself, next time he was definitely going to make a move. She seemed interested enough, so she'd been a little late today, people can't be punctual all the time. Black lay in contented silence, and then he heard a whisper from behind his curtains.

"Padfoot. Padfoot!" It was James. Black reluctantly opened the curtain; he had been enjoying just thinking to himself but a friend in need and all that. James pulled himself on to the bed and sat cross-legged at the end of it, facing his friend. He had that ridiculous grin on his face that meant he'd done something he was proud of.

"Guess what Padfoot!"

"What?"

"You know Evans?" Sirius' ears perked in interest, some animagus traits always stay with you.

"What about her?" he asked, trying to hide his eagerness.

Prongs smiled, almost coyly: "Well, I've liked her for a while and I met up with her today and we got together! She's an amazing snogger." James didn't notice the slight fall on Padfoot's face, he was too wrapped up in Lily Evans. "We're going to properly start seeing each other soon, mate, it going to be brill!"

"Yeah…" was all Sirius could manage, his mood completely deflated. He thought he had been in with a shot but obviously he hadn't.


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N : Sorry that it's taken me ages to complete! You've probably all been really patient. This is the final chapter and I've put a little twist at the end because i think they could be cute together; enjoy!_**

* * *

><p>With Prongs all loved up he didn't notice the Black was less than his banter-filled self, and Wormtail always followed James round in some kind of daze so he was just as oblivious. Remus Lupin, however, took note of Sirius' mood; it was unlike him to be down for more than a few hours let alone the week that he'd been in this mood for. He watched as James gorged him with details about Lily Evans and Wormtail went 'ooh' and 'aah' in all the right places. He watched Sirius just sit with his back against the wall staring at the floor. It troubled Lupin greatly.<p>

Sirius Black drifted in to the library reluctantly to return the books he'd needed for that stupid essay he'd spent all the night before working on. He hated the library now. Before the Evans saga he hadn't gone in but he didn't hate it but after a brief interlude of it being his favourite place in the world he now firmly disliked the cavernous room. He looked around, scowling, as he waited for the librarian and that was when he saw her for the first time since the incident with James came to light. She sat there like she had on that day. Her flame gold hair fell over her face slightly, just a strand, just like before. Lily tried to blow it out of her face. She didn't break her gaze from the book she was reading to tuck the hair behind her ear with her delicate, pale fingers. Her green emerald eyes were focused on the words that filled the page; until she chanced to look up, only for a second, and saw Sirius.

She smiled and got up from the table where she was sitting. Inwardly, Black was panicking, what on earth could he say to her? What could he do without telling her everything?

"Hello Sirius, haven't really seen you around…" Lily smiled hesitantly, lingering for a response.

"Yeah, well, I've been busy." He didn't mean for it to sound as forceful and harsh as it did but Sirius couldn't take it back. He watched as her face fell. He felt like a prat.

"Oh. I see… I just thought… Have I done something wrong?" Lily Evans' eyes began to fill with tears.

"No" said Black bluntly as the librarian appeared to take his books, "It's a nice day, go have fun with James." He was now so aware of how bitter and sarcastic his voice sounded as he stalked out the library with his hands deeply thrust in his pockets.

Lily was left standing in the library as she realised what she had inadvertently done. She put a pale hand out almost to call Sirius back and apologise, say she hadn't known, but she knew him well enough to know that the best she could do for him was just to disappear from his life until he felt he could handle her again.

When Padfoot had slammed the door to his dorm behind him, there was someone in there. He had wanted to be alone so he could have time to just be weak and stupid to himself. He looked fiercley in to the familiar grey eyes.

"Why are you up here Remus?" he demanded, trying to contain the emotion in his voice and face and doing a poor job of it.

"I just came up to get some parchment," soothed Remus, "what's up?" This was the question that broke Sirius. He collapsed down on to his bed and let out all the pain that he had felt in an almost howl, rather like his animagus. Lupin quietly sat beside him and propped Black's head up on his shoulder; he held him as he cried out everything about Lily and how stupid he felt. Remus knew he was seeing a side to Sirius that probably no one would ever see again, he felt honoured as he felt for his friend.

Sirius' tale came to a close as he sat there despondently next to the werewolf in human form and stared at the wall.

"No one could ever love me and be my side like she is with James. No one" Black whispered out to the stone.

"I'll never leave you, Sirius" murmured Lupin into the mane of black hair. He risked a small peck on the crown of the head. Sirius relaxed in to him even more. Lupin allowed Prongs to sag in to him and thought quietly about his situation to himself.

He could never let Sirius know. Never.


End file.
